Working and Feeling more that I am Japanese!

I knew these times were coming. That is why I didn't wanna even look at my 2009 calender at the end of 2008.

Working everyday going different places.
I knew it was my choice and I knew it will be crazy but I try not to think to work 7 days a week non-stop.

I have had blog away busy days since I was offered more hours playing for Boston Ballet classes and two musical productions auditions and rehearsal has began.
I know I am fortunate to have job in this economy and I know I shouldn't complain that I have many jobs...

I just try to not think. I just try to remember where I have to go and what I have to bring!! Different musics. Different binders of 100s' of songs and just bright spirit to everywhere I go so that people around me can't see that I am actually tired.

That is called in Japan "Tatemae" (Professed Intention) and you supposed to not show your "Honne" (Real Intention) of course while at work or people that you are not close with.
I have this professional Tatemae thing going even at the arrival of my 3rd or 4th job and look fresh and can pretend and provide I just started my day let's be happy vibe!

My two musicals that I am working as a Musical Director are "Gypsy" and "King and I".
Yes my title is MD but not the smart one : )

They had a large turn out for the audition.
At one audition I had to hear 50 actors sing in 1 hour. Looking at their resume, trying to remember their faces and sound at the same time. It's pretty hard so I wrote some nasty stuff to impact my brain on my notes in Japanese then all the sudden,,, one of the Caucasian Judge recognized my comment in Japanese since she lived in Japan for 5 years...

I don't have to watch American Idol's audition process. I get to experience it in first hand! I think my comments are like Simon's. People say my opinion is very harsh! But without the most realistic judgement in terms of Musicality, how can you chose good casts in such a short time??

My gut feeling is very important also!

I had one girl that I felt terrible vibe from. So in the end, I said "No" to her and she actually was given another role for another show and she said "No" for the offer!!!

I knew she was not nice. I am glad I am not working with her!!
She could hit the pitch and was a great singer. But it is not only that.
You gotta be able to work with them and be able to have fun!!

We finally casted everyone for both shows and I am very happy with the casts.

Gypsy had started rehearsals. I was in charge of making and conducting Music only rehearsal schedule which is a lot of work. Figuring out how many songs are in the show, who sings which song, who and who interact in the song, time table, people's conflict...

If you are addicted to puzzle! Here's the job for you.
Musical Director!!

At the rehearsal, I usually work with singers with my approach of coloring the songs.

I say "You have all these toys as a singer, dynamics! Why not use them!"
Also I focus on blending the voices and phrasing the consonants together, cutting the notes at the same time when it's more than 2 casts etc.

I always have inferiority complex being a Japanese when I talk about consonants and phrasing the words in English. Basically not so much about Music techniques but mainly about pronunciation.

I over think and over read people's mind like "Why is this Japanese small lady talking about how to pronounce English?! It's not her business!"

I am sure people are not like that but my voices become kind of loud in my head...and look around and actually realize...

YES, I am the only Japanese!! in this production.
I try to look around and around,,, but there's not even an Asian....


Well I knew I came to America knowing I am Japanese and usually I really don't think that way since I honestly feel more comfortable being in America than in Japan.
I am too artistic and awkward that I definitely felt unfit and outcast when I was in Japan. So I am absolutely happy where I am right now... AMERICA!

But last Wednesday night it just hit me all the sudden after the rehearsal...

Wow, I am really Japanese!!

Well, I should listen to my other voice saying
"You are hired because people saw my potential not just because I am Japanese"

I appreciate all my American friends who respect me and respect my musicality!!


At King and I Audition
With Director and Producer




With Director


At Gypsy Audition